Does anyone ever have an overwhelming sense of doom? Earlier today I had one and it freaked me out. I had maybe a minor panic attack? I just all of a sudden had this feeling that something horrible had happened to Kayla. My heart started pounding and I started to cry. Then I had to tell myself to just breathe and to calm down, that everything is fine.
Maybe it's due to the fact that a member of my family lost their husband this past wknd after 3 weeks of marriage. I don't ever want to know what that is like - if I lost my husband our whole family would be lost. My husband is our rock. My husband and my children are my world and I don't know what I'd do if I were to ever lose them.
Maybe it's due to the fact that I have another colonoscopy coming up this summer. It's not until July, but I stress about it every single day. I hate it. And it scares me. I'm always afraid of what the dr. will find - will this be the one that detects colon cancer?
I know I worry way too much - always worrying about something or other. I know I shouldn't. But I am afraid to not worry, if that makes sense. I'm afraid that as soon as I let my guard down then something awful will happen.
